Bioshock Infinite is a videogame. It is made by Irrational Games, a company. This company makes video games. It is a first person shooting game where you wield guns with a funny camera angle. It is not the first first person shooting game but due to newfound journalistic demand I cannot assess it against its peers as it would not be a strictly objective task.

Bioshock Infinite has a story. In essence, this means that players will be emotionally attached to characters. The characters use words to talk to each other. Sometimes when you’re not shooting you can spend money on power ups. These power ups are good… sorry… can’t say that. These power ups exist.

Overall I would say my experience was an experience.

Score: game/game


Is this what you want? The informative and critical equivalent of a Wikipedia article? Gamergaters seemed to have a burning plea for an ‘objective’ journalistic reform but I honestly don’t think they understood what the reality of that situation would be. I refuse as a consumer to ask for an experience of watching journalistic paint dry.

I am willing to go as far as to say critics should avoid objectivity. As someone who both consumes and tries to have a go at critically assessing videogames I would think that a good review should be evocative, should show some kind of wit in judgement, should aptly draw appropriate comparisons and should employ both the author’s opinions and others’.

None of these things can be objective. There is no objective criteria against which these things are held.

Find something else to veil your desire to rid gaming journalism of Zoe Quinn and Anita Sarkeesian, but please, I implore you, don’t pretend to actually be interested in journalistic objectivity.

As an amateur critic, thank you for making my job easier by telling me what I don’t need to assess and the opinions I don’t need to have, but I think I’ll pass.

Fuck off.



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