I Wasn’t Going To Make A Post About E3 But LORDY LORD

I don’t like E3.

I know I’m an edgelord (at least meta-tier), but I just refuse to have in common with my nerd peers that seemingly ubiquitous gamer credulousness. How can anyone be fully accepting of a convention that has such a nefarious track record?

Every year without fail you are guaranteed middle-aged white cringelords slinging out awful, diabolic *puns* and overenthusiastic marketing techniques which only give weight to that argument which I detest; being that the games industry panders to the juvenile and the immature. I cannot look forward to comedic shambles.

Indie booths are usually of a much higher quality, probably due to the fact that the developers themselves are the face of the coverage and actually know what the heck they are talking about, as opposed to the hireling cringedads who really don’t help my misanthropy addiction. I do not mind the indie booths, especially in regards to new horror IPs which are increasingly iterative of PT, or when an indie gem like Gone Home comes around at E3. These things genuinely excite me, but when some munter from EA shuffles around a stage for 45 minutes of my life desperately trying to prevent his audience from realising he is so out of touch/depth with the content he is announcing, I physically cannot give an eff.

Even with regards to the companies and not the corporately conscripted speakers at E3, how gamers still seem to thrash around in ecstasy astounds me. We have been lied to every year with the artifice of vertical slices repeatedly, be it by graphical prevarication, footage of game sections that will soon be mutilated by corporate butchery (in the case of MGS V entire story segments were vivisected), or trailers for games that will never even come to see the light of day. There is an unequivocal abusive relationship between the companies and consumers when it comes to these unabated broken promises.

BUT WHO CARES BECAUSE THEY’RE MAKING SILENT HILLS!

Okay that was a lie, but if you follow my posts (why would you? they’re awful) you know that I’ve been mourning for PT and it’s would be successor for months now.

Kojima has awakened, alongside his PT compatriot and professional deltoid Norman Reedus as front man, to announce Death Stranding.

If Reedus’s reinclusion weren’t evidence enough to suggest that the IP is a spiritual successor to his criminally handled Silent Hills project, here’s an example of Kojima’s unsubtle developmental belligerence in spite of those who did him the greatest injustice in gaming’s history.

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The only downside is that Del Toro is starkly absent from this announcement. Were he to hop on during development, I would gush even more than presently, if that is even biologically possible.

This is the most hyped from an E3 announcement that I have ever been. Everyone else better step up and    git    gud    midst this historical, this landmark creative justice.

NIP ON

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