I Soil Myself Over Resident Evil 7: Biohazard

Never before have I played a game demo- let alone a game- where, I must unironically proclaim, I was so unfortunately close to self-soilation. Resident Evil 7: Beginning Hour exhibits some absolutely spine-tingling bowel-jingling horror, and oh am I so filled with glee!

If you follow my blog you know both that I am a keen furry    yoga enthusiast but also that I greatly mourn the loss of Kojima and Del Toro’s would-be title Silent Hills. It amazes me to write that I may have found an I.P satisfying P.T and Silent Hills’s loss.

Hardcore survival horror aficionados have already feverishly taken to their gamer-optimised keyboards to draw comparisons between the two demos. It would be my delight to announce that Capcom are iterating on a universally acclaimed P.T in an effort of appreciation, but Resi 7’s director Koshi Nakanishi has in fact confirmed that the first-person-flashlight-simulator style was in developmental effect even before Sony’s announcement of P.T!

It refreshes me to know that Capcom are entirely unprovoked in their incredible effort at stylistic reform. After the, well, megashite reception of Resi 6, which critics seemed to agree was near-perfect Michael Bay wank fodder, Capcom have entirely subverted the expectations of both general audiences and hardcore fans in an effort to recapture the helpless horror element of their much earlier titles. Although Capcom should have never strayed their path in the first place, contorting the series’ image into arcade-style quicktime-laden action shooters, it is a great relief to see such a radical leap which quenches everybody’s demands.

Not to mention the fact that the demo is positively accident-inducing. Blimey! Playing it with my best friend on his PS4 in the dark, never have I seen before me the kind of fearful paralysis that you’d think only big YouTubers would artificially flaunt for views. He literally could not move in-game or in reality, once the unnamed antagonist of this demo eerily brushed past the open doorway in front of us, leaving he, the player, and even I as spectator feeling utterly stripped of any safety or certainty.

This delectably eldritch demo will be updated come September, allowing for more incontinence-provoking heebie jeebies around our derelict haunted house that Beginning Hour is staged in. Updates for a demo are rarely ever seen, and I believe this to be a good sign that Capcom are just as enthusiastic to produce as we are to receive.

Welcome to the family, Resident Evil 7: Biohazard!


15 thoughts on “I Soil Myself Over Resident Evil 7: Biohazard

  1. I’m looking forward to where they go with this. Even if this house isn’t part of the final game, it should be interesting to see if they let this demo become it’s own entity. Also…furry yoga?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This was a great read, mate! Resident EVII is definitely looking like a proper return to form for the series. I’m a giant wuss though, so I don’t know if I can muster the courage to ever try it with VR. 😛

    Great job on detailing your experience with it! It definitely sold me on the idea that Capcom will be fixing the series.

    Liked by 1 person

          • Thanks for the follow 😀

            Just wanted to let ya know as well that I work over at Now Loading (https://nowloading.co/) and your writing and style is something that I think would be great on our platform if you were keen on sharing your posts there as well. If you have any questions about it, I’d be more than happy to answer them for ya. My e-mail is paul@nowloading.co

            Regardless of whether you do or don’t though, I’m a fan 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

  3. While I’m all for Capcom taking the Resi series in a different direction, I do hope the new game will keep the elements that made past titles so endearing. I agree that the sixth entry was far too explodey, but, seven looks like it’s trying too hard to be Silent Hill. Shuffling around in an empty house while playing hide and seek with vague, humanoid figures seems far too subtle for a resident evil game. But, we’ll see.

    Liked by 1 person

Give me hate mail:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s